I N B O X.

[catholicisms]

"You missed me, I'll get back to you. If you're leaving a message, I'd prefer voice to text. Thanks."

Comments

[ultraviolents]

[ it's a little strange, showering in his place with this new context and their new relationship to each other. it's hard not to think of the times when she'd done it at her place or he'd done it at hers, but she knows that letting her mind wander to those memories when he can still hear her in spite of the running water and closed door is a bad idea. so she just focuses on getting clean, tells herself that the sudden rushes of warmth are from the water and not the scent of his products on her skin.

he approaches the door just as she's turning the water off, and she's surprised to hear his offer of fresh clothing. she wouldn't have minded going back out in her old clothes, she'd kind of accepted it as necessary, but the offer of fresh ones, of his, no less, leaves her feeling touched.

she reaches for a towel, securing it around herself before she opens the door. the thought that she should accept them with some sort of joke, just to keep things feeling as close to normal as they have been, is there, but when she opens the door and sees him with the clothing in hand, the attempt dies on her tongue. ]

I appreciate that. Thank you.

[catholicisms]

( it's strange for the both of them. Matt values his self control, but it's difficult not to be very aware that she's naked, and not too far from him. if he focused enough, he could probably hear her peeling off her clothes, the drum of water on her skin... he gets her a change of clothes as loud as he possibly can, just for the distraction of the sounds. he really doesn't need to focus on the fact she's using his shower. they can both handle this, they're adults, right?

she answers the door in a towel (for the best, for both of them) and doesn't have anything coy to say about his offer, or the fact she's scantily clad. it's a surprising amount of restraint, considering it's Elektra, but if she's not affected by all of this than Neither Is He. through sheer willower. )

Sure. ( apparently he has nothing clever to say either. just take the clothes so he can retreat back to the kitchen, Elektra... his pajamas are not going to fit her particularly well, but it will be better than nothing. )

[ultraviolents]

[ she's only not affected because she is trying very, very hard not to be, knowing all too well that he'll be able to tell if she is. and they've been working so hard at being able to be around each other again, at trusting each other, and however she still feels about him, she doesn't want to jeopardize that. still, she can't help the skip in her heartbeat or the fluttering in the pit of her stomach as she takes the pajamas from him, smiling slightly before shutting the door and pulling them on.

they hang loose on her, the pants slung low on her hips and the shirt hanging halfway down her thighs. the scent is indeed much more pleasant than the clothing she'd worn outside and she tries not to think about the memories they stoke in her mind, breathing in deeply before opening the door.

oh. right. the corpse flowers. that's enough to snap her back into reality. she gags a little before opening the door and stepping out, grateful for the more pleasant scent of the tea. ]

[catholicisms]

( they're both careful around each other, but for different reasons. she doesn't want to jeopardize anything, and Matt just can't spare that much trust. for her, for himself, hard to say who. maybe a combination of both. he hears the distinct trill of her heartbeat, somewhere in the back of his head, he knows what it means. he knows the little things she does, the fact she's even here looking after him in the first place... he knows it means something.

it's just easier to look the other way when he's been convinced by all of these things before, and in the end, it hadn't stopped her from leaving.

he's made his way to the stovetop — the smell is best by the boiling tea, the smell of heat, even the smell of burned dust around the element smells better than the blooming just outside. he can hear her joining him, and not just because she chokes on the reminder of the corpse flower scent on the air. ) It smells better over here, ( he tells her, turning her direction. it takes him a minute of companionable silence before he says what he probably should have said sooner. ) Thank you. For bringing all this.

( he's careful around her, yes, but he isn't incapable of gratitude. she's done him a fairly big favor, here, and he appreciates it. )

[ultraviolents]

[ she'd done it for him. she's told him as much, but it's up to him to believe her or not, regardless of what she's told him and the fact that she's incapable of lying to him. she understands the reluctance to trust her, if only for the fact that she'd left him, to say nothing of how she'd been working with stick. it doesn't mean she enjoys it or that it doesn't hurt at times, but she knows she'd hurt him worse.

her hand is drawn underneath her nose as she steps out, the scent of the tea mixing with what she can still smell of the corpse flowers still not altogether pleasant until she steps closer, where the tea is the strongest. it eases the clenching in her stomach enough for her to lower her hand and she looks at him when he turns back to her, a soft upturn curving her mouth as she nods. ]

You're welcome. [ it's not much compared to what she'd really like to do, which is raze the entire village of these blasted things, but if it helps she's glad to have done it. ] Thanks for letting me use your shower.

[catholicisms]

( as much as he'd appreciate her taking a torch to every offending plant in town, Matt has to guess it wouldn't be very productive. he can hardly get out the door without puking, or maybe he'd have seen if there was any way to move the damned things away from the inhabited parts of Beacon. considering the lack of fire, burning the damned things probably wouldn't go that well... though she doesn't mention that plan, so he's blissfully unaware.

(if he knew, though, he'd just tell her to be careful. he knows Elektra well enough to know if she's set her mind to it, she'll do it.)

as for the shower, he shrugs. ) Anytime. ( even though when he's feeling less bodily ill, the fact she's naked in his space is bound to be more distracting... and it was fairly distracting this time. apparently Matt can't let the moment go completely with them acting like reasonable, mature adults and adds, ) You really needed it.

( this time when he grins at her, she'll definitely see it. )

[ultraviolents]

[ spoiler alert: it's super ineffective!

it's not even the first time this week she's used his shower (or is it? time is hard to keep track of when it's eternally night), but even the offer means a lot. both were due to extreme circumstances, needing to get warm and smelling like death, but it's still miles ahead of where they've been. and he's even offering her clothes this time!

apparently he can't be too nice, though. she laughs again, shaking her head at him and pushing a damp lock of hair back. ]

You're one to talk. [ her senses aren't nearly as delicate as his, but they are still functioning. ]

[catholicisms]

( the only way Matt can keep track of the days is by the calendar function on his tablet. he could tell night from day back home, from the changes in sounds and voices and even the smells changing between night and day. now it's just eternal blackness — there's no obvious changes to their surroundings based on the hour. it's frustrating and a bit disorienting.

no, he can't be too nice. if anything, that he's got the mood in him to tease her is a sign he's not on deaths door, just miserable. the air is sticky and wet standing next to a boiling pot of tea, though it's still better than anywhere else in the a-frame right about now. )

Until these flowers clear up, I'm not bound to smell much better. ( he's had more than a few showers, but it's an impossible battle to fight the cold sweat and the sour smell of consistently losing what little he has left in his stomach. he nods toward the tea, which smells better than it has any right to considering the rotten hellscape pressing in at the windows. ) You should have some of this, you're the only one that could keep it down.

[ultraviolents]

You might feel better. [ she knows she does and she hasn't even been suffering to the same degree he has. just being clean has improved things immensely, like a snake shedding its old skin. but she won't push the matter.

the fact that he's capable of joking at her expense is something of a comfort, especially given how he'd looked when she'd first gotten to his place. though she is a little concerned that nothing's staying down, not even tea. not that she's been able to stomach much, either. ]

That's about the only thing I've been able to keep down. [ some attempts at eating have gone better than others, but she still doesn't have much of an appetite in general. ] Drinking seems to go better than eating, if you feel up to giving it a try.

[catholicisms]

( would he feel better after his third shower of the day? maybe, until the smell sneaks up on him again, and then he'll be right back where he started. Matt might be more inclined to shower if Elektra wasn't present, but seeing as she is... he's more interested in spending time with her than another useless shower. he might not admit it, but it's the truth. even feeling sick and disgusting, he'd rather put his attention into her.

he'll worry about a shower when she's gone.

Matt isn't honestly interested in eating, or drinking. that said, he knows how it goes, when you're worried about someone. it's hard to just sit back and watch, it was natural inclination to want to do something about it. getting him to drink something probably isn't going to help him much, though he's more than aware it'd give her a bit of peace of mind. so he'll do it without much argument, even if he probably would avoid anything flavored if he were on his own. even if it ends up like everything else he's put in his stomach, Matt is willing if it will reassure her any. )

I'll drink something if you eat some of those crackers you bought. ( after she mentioned not keeping anything down herself, she had to see that one coming. )

[ultraviolents]

[ she is concerned, and he probably would feel better. but she doesn't push it, not only because she doesn't want to push her boundaries with him (anymore), but because in spite of the circumstances, this is time spent together when neither are in (dire) peril and don't have the excuse of sparring to keep them in the same place, talking companionably. it's unexpected. it's nice. even with the awkwardness.

elektra's nose wrinkles in spite of it currently being less assaulted by the carrion scent. truth be told, the idea of trying to eat sounds about as appealing as the idea of making the trek back to her room at the inn, but the counter offer is more appealing. it's only been a couple of days and he's already looking fairly gaunt. ]

Deal. [ she roots around for the package of crackers and pulls them out, watching him as she waits for him to pour. ]

[catholicisms]

( even for a supposedly smart man, Matt doesn't seem to grasp how ridiculous it is to bribe Elektra to eat crackers with promises of taking care of himself. he also doesn't think much about the fact that it's not much of a win to convince her to eat a few crackers, and that he has no reason to be so pleased with himself, like he's convinced her when it really took no effort at all.

but safe to say, he is pleased, and it seems like an easy bribe. choking down some tea on a revolting stomach is far from the most horrible thing he's ever done, and Matt gets what he wants out of it. so why wouldn't he?

Elektra is probably the only person in Beacon that wouldn't pour the tea for him on principle. it's fine, Matt does not need her to pour it, he's more than capable. he finds two mugs (it's remarkable he has that many, the place is rather geared for him and him alone) and gives them both a helping. ) At least it's not black. ( he doesn't elaborate because apparently she knows — Stick favored black tea, so Matt disliked it almost on principle. the smell of black tea is laced to plenty of memories he doesn't care to think about, and that's not even counting one he doesn't remember. making the old man tea with Elektra's blood staining his hands.

it's hot, so he can't be expected to chug the tea on the spot. so instead he prompts, ) You first.

[ultraviolents]

[ she knows that he's capable and that while hiding his capabilities to the public for the time being is important to him, it's also frustrating to restrain himself and let people do things for him all the time. and while she'd come here to help look after him and take care of him if he needed it, he seems to be doing so much better even just doing simple tasks around his house.

it is a little ridiculous that both of them are so pleased about successfully bribing each other to ingest something potentially nourishing. she laughs at the assessment of the tea as she opens the box, then the package of crackers. ]

I think that would be a good way to make us both vomit. [ she pulls a saltine free, sniffing at it experimentally - it fortunately doesn't seem to have any of the flower's scent absorbed into it - and gingerly takes a bite.

it goes down easily enough and her stomach doesn't even protest once she's swallowed it down, but whether it stays down once the smell of the tea fades and she needs to go back outside is another matter. for now, she's feeling confident enough to eat another. ]

[catholicisms]

( he laughs, a tired and weary guff but a laugh all the same. that's a very colorful way of putting it, though fair at the same time. Matt is still sort of making sense of the fact they both had the same destructive old man in their lives, her even moreso than him. it's... difficult, to try and wrap his mind around Stick trying to have her killed, though not exactly because Matt doubts the man had it in him. he knows that he does, he's seen Stick kill, and easily.

it's more a matter of wishing better of the man, even if Matt has literally never been given much reason to believe better of him. it's just something he seems unable to stop. it's just his nature to hope for better from the people he cares about, and as much as he'd like to Matt can't quite keep himself from caring about Stick. )

Two crackers? Getting bold, are you? ( Matt gingerly blows on his tea, a surprisingly adorable gesture for a grown man that likely knows that blowing won't get him very far, but the placebo effect is enough for him to try it. it doesn't exactly go down easily, between the heat and the taste... but he swallows it. seems like he functions more or less normally except for his stomach battling desperately with anything he has the audacity to swallow. he does put it down with a bit of a green at the gills look on his face. he's probably going to have to work himself up to having another sip, though the longer the first stays down the easier the second will be. )

[ultraviolents]

[ he not only tried to have her killed, he tried to do it himself when that had ended up failing. matthew had been the one who had interfered, both with his intentions and the hand's intentions. he'd been the only one to tell her she had a choice, that no one had the right to tell her what she was.

the memory turns into a pang of sadness in her gut that quickly dissolves back into nausea when the scent works its way past the tea, and she grimaces, setting the half-finished cracker down. ]

Maybe a little too bold. How's the tea staying down?

[catholicisms]

( he can sense some sort of change, some shift that sours her stomach at least as much as the smell lingering in the small space. he can still read her remarkably well, even with all the years of distance. he knows it's something. he isn't sure what. he's curious, though Matt wants to retain the feeling between them as much as Elektra does. asking what's bothering her seems crossing a line they've both been careful to uphold.

all in all he's a coward, because he doesn't ask. he frowns, but he doesn't ask. )

Believe it or not, better than anything else I've tried lately. ( it's still in him at the moment, for starters. he's lucky that staying hydrated is less of a concern here, otherwise he'd likely feel even more sick from dehydration. )

[ultraviolents]

[ even if she knew he could sense her reaction, she wouldn't expect him to question her about it. it's hardly an uncommon one for either of them right now. ]

I believe it. [ considering she just had trouble getting another half a cracker down. she reaches for her own tea, her hands curving around the mug as she brings it underneath her nose to help ease the nausea a little. it helps, at least a little bit, but getting it down is a different story. ] You don't have any honey, do you?

[ in addition to making it taste a little better, it's possible that getting their blood sugar up might help them feel a little less ill. ]

[catholicisms]

No. I think that might be too specialized an ingredient around here.

( he's been able to locate staples in the store, flour, sugar, plain fruits, some canned things here or there. animal products are more rare, and animal byproducts? even more so. maybe there's some honey knocking about somewhere, despite it, but Matt's one of the least likely people to grab some.

he doesn't have regular sugar, either. just a small smattering of food he can eat without much in the way of preparation. he doesn't particularly enjoy cooking, and in Beacon he doesn't really have to bother. )

I should have known you'd take your tea sweetened. ( she took her coffee sweetened, maybe even overly sweetened, depending on who you were asking. tea was a similar beast, it was an easy guess that she'd take her tea the same. he doesn't have sugar now, though by sheer happenstance and ridiculous coincidence, the next time she's around, she'll find he's acquired some. who knows why!!! it's a mystery!!!!! DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!!!! )

[ultraviolents]

[ she huffs in exaggerated vexation, tipping her head back to punctuate it. but she's smiling a little in spite of it. it is a disappointment, but not really a surprise. she has the brief thought that maybe she'll put in a request for some, and then she remembers the ferry and her reaction feels a little less melodramatic. ]

I figured it might make it more pleasant going down. [ and coming back up, should that end up happening. ] But yes, usually. [ stick had hated that. ]

[catholicisms]

( Stick was notoriously against the strangest things. sugar in tea, tokens of affection, human connection, and very notably children caring about him and wanting to stay in his presence despite his abuse and training them to be child soldiers.

it is at least a little disappointing. even Matt wouldn’t mind honey in his tea — saying something. when usually he takes all his drinks straight. no ice in his whiskey and no cream in his coffee. suffering intentionally like a good catholic should. the calories from the sugar would have been a nice boost, but he doesn’t even have the plain kind.

perhaps this was a lesson should keep his pantry a little more stocked in the future. )

I don’t think anything is going to help the coming up part, Mary Poppins. ( going down, she might have a point. sweet vomit still tasted like vomit, though. and yes he’s undoubtedly teasing her again. )

[ultraviolents]

[ there's catholicism and then there's matthew's brand of catholicism. of course he doesn't have any sugar. her eyes roll even as she chuckles at his ribbing and she finally tries sipping at the tea. it's not altogether pleasant, but she doesn't gag on it, which is something. ]

Well, the goal is to get it to stay down.

[catholicisms]

( wow i don't know what she's trying to say, that he's OVERDOING catholicism??? has she even MET catholicism??? the whole point is to overdo it, Elektra!! to hate yourself and suffer, just the way God intended. to put sugar in your coffee is to allow yourself to enjoy it, and that's just ridiculous!

but no, honestly, Matt is just that kind of guy. his refusal of sugar is more or less because he never got a taste for it. that, and his father had taken things black, and Matt Murdock is nothing if not a daddy's boy. )

An ambitious goal, but as long as I stay inside it should be fine.

( and if he has to retch the second she leaves because she opened the door, well, maybe he'll even have some more later. she's probably right that he needs to at least attempt to keep things in his system. )

[ultraviolents]

[ not until him, before him she was a strict hedonist. (and after him too, honestly.) but well before that, before stick had found her and in the earlier years of their training, she'd had to fend for herself and often go without. when the ambassador and his wife had first taken her in, the sudden availability of anything she could have ever wanted was overwhelming, and the thrill had never really gone away. ]

Fortunately you don't have a walk home to look forward to. [ given how they're sitting, she's not expecting the crackers to stay down for very long once she gets back outside. ]

[catholicisms]

( the only time in his life Matt had even been remotely hedonistic had been when he was running around with Elektra in his college years. going from a single father who struggled to make ends meet (even before his accident) to living on the dime of nuns, he hadn't ever had much opportunity to overindulge. Elektra had pulled him into it hook, line, and sinker — his evasiveness of the lifestyle since had a lot to do with intentionally avoiding anything that reminded him of her. )

I don't envy you that, but I can offer you a few hours of respite.

( aka, she doesn't have to hightail it out the door right away. basically, an invitation to stay awhile. he's been doing that a lot lately, huh? probably doesn't mean anything! )

[ultraviolents]

[ he really has, and it's something she's taken note of, especially after letting her use his shower and lending her clothes when he could just as easily thanked her for her offerings and asked her to leave. she wouldn't have even taken it personally, she'd come because she'd known he was feeling like hell. ]

Okay. Thank you. [ his place doesn't offer a whole lot of relief, given that the smell is kind of everywhere, but it's better than actually being outside and she'd like to put that off as long as possible.

and maybe she's a little touched by the offer and wants to stay as long as he'll let her. shut up. ]