deerington

[catholicisms]

IN CHARACTER

Character Name: Matt Murdock
Canon: Netflix MCU
Canon Point: End of the Defenders

In-Game Tattoo Placement: Across his chest
Current Health/Status: Pretty banged up from a dragon ribcage collapsing on him but not dead so overall okay!
Apparent Age: Mid 30s
Actual Age: Mid 30s
Species: Human

History:

❝ I'm not seeking penance for what I've done, Father. I'm asking forgiveness, for what I'm about to do. ❞

Hometown/World: MCU's version of Earth

Personality: The bible speaks of the duality of man. That there is both a creature made in God's own image, of perfection and peace, paired with corruption and sin, of darkness and chaos completely opposed to godliness. The corruption began in the Garden of Eden with the pursuit of knowledge that was just beyond reach, and this duality causes a rift in each person, a mixing of good and evil, sin and virtue, a confused and incompatible combination of elements.

Since Matt Murdock is such a good catholic boy, of course it makes sense that he would embody this duality. Much like the devil and angel battling on the shoulders of some confused and conflicted cartoon character, Matt has a pull of good and a push of evil, facets of brightness and figments of darkness. Not always does one surpass the other, in fact he is often a complicated mire of both. All too often, actually.

The good is certainly easier to find than the bad. In fact it is easy to argue that overall, Matt is a good person. He is likable, often funny, good-spirited. He is kind, soft spoken, and considerate. He cares about others. He cares a lot, in fact. He has frequent moments of selflessness and incredibly strong convictions about helping those in need. He dedicated himself to law school and becoming a public defender to fight for those who needed it to be a bastion to the people in the city he loved so much. He generally refuses to work for those he knows to be guilty, and will risk his career and often his safety to defend those who have little to repay him with but their gratitude.

This sort of ferocious determination to defend the innocent and those in need of saving extends far past his law career as well. He throws himself, body and soul, into fighting on the behalf of Hell's Kitchen. Those that are maligned, lost, and abused, with no one to turn to, Matt is willing to champion for without them even knowing his name. He will risk his life and his happiness to protect those that need it, and not always because they deserve it.

All in all, he's a kind person and he has a sympathetic heart. Matt has plenty of empathy and he is more than capable of connecting to the pain of others, and grieving for them as strongly as he might grieve for himself. He is not blind to suffering, despite the fact he can no longer see. In fact one could almost argue he's all too aware of it, as he cannot seem to stop himself from stepping in, instead feeling an obligation that many do not understand. He cannot let go of a mission once he's connected to it, not even when the cost can be personal or extremely high. He is beholden to his convictions in a way that could be alarming as much as it can be inspiring.

They can be alarming in the fact he will carve apart so much of himself for them. His health, his happiness, his life, his connections to others — they all face strain, occasionally to the breaking point, because of Matthew's refusal to turn away from what he believes to be right. Even when the people in his life are begging him to, Matt cannot just leave well enough alone or give up, no matter the consequences. Win or lose, live or die, he'd rather fight to the end than give up without giving it his all. It's admirable when seen as determination, less so when looked at through the lense of stubbornness.

Matt also has difficulty seeing past his own world view and his own beliefs. He is painfully catholic, and he sees right and wrong through that narrow set of commandments. More complicated questions do not always fit neatly into the mindset he has always adhered to, and he struggles with the more difficult shades of gray. Matt would like every moral question to come with a clear yes or no, right or wrong. The world just doesn't work that way, despite his desperation to occasionally fit it in a more limited, roman-catholic understanding.

He can be incredibly selfish. Matt chooses to cling to his secrets instead of offering the truth to even those closest to him, both on the misguided idea that it protects them and to avoid conversations he doesn't want to have. Matt refuses to step down from a fight that is slowly destroying him, body and soul, even when many parties around him beg him to, thanks to his unshakeable determination to fight when Hell's Kitchen never asked him to.

Matthew fears that there is a part of him ruled by the devil, by hatred and anger and darkness, and perhaps that is not exactly untrue. He is capable of extreme and horrifying violence. He will hurt those who hurt others and he shows absolute brutality in his dealings with those he feels are dangerous. While he does not kill he is not afraid to do everything but, even willing to torture when he feels he has to. There is a frightening side to him, a side that frightens even himself, but Matt will do what he feels he has to and sacrifice his own soul in the process if he thinks that it will protect innocents in the end.

As much as Matt might try to see things in black and white, the reality is far more complicated. And thusly, so is he. There is more to him than his violent, vigilante persona, just as there is much more to the soft-spoken defense attorney than meets the eye. Matt can be kind as much as he can be cruel, and he is just as capable of hurting as he is capable of defending. His finer points — his compassion for others, his belief in what is right, his willingness to sacrifice so much of himself — are cut and tarnished occasionally by his lesser ones. He is not complete if considered by one small part, however he is not ruled by one, either. His violent nature is conditional, and only drawn out by those deserving. His secrets are selfishly kept, yes, but there is a good part of him that does want to protect others from the truth. Especially those he loves the most.

Matt cannot always see himself as good, but let's be honest, that's the catholic in him. As much as he battles with his darkness, there is much in him to be admired. It is just important not to dismiss the flaws to his character because of all the ways he is so very good — don't worry, though, Matt Murdock is absolutely the least likely person to forget his own sinful nature.

Personal Moral Codes: Short answer, incredibly catholic. Long answer? Matt has a stringent sense of right and wrong, and it is defined by the ten commandments. If something is wrong then it shouldn't happen, and the worse it gets the more he feels obligated to say something or worse yet, do something. He knows that two wrongs do not make a right, yet he's willing to sin to protect others and stop greater evils. However no matter how much violence he's willing to dish out, he absolutely isn't willing to kill. Unless you're a member of the Hand, I guess, but overall that is the line in the sand he feverishly refuses to cross.

Insecurities/Personal Demons:
— HERO COMPLEX. Matt feels a need, no, an obligation to help others in need. This is absolutely at the expense of his own happiness and health. He will dedicate himself to causes that didn't ask for his interference and absolutely run himself into the ground to accomplish it. He will jump into danger with little provocation and he'll jump in front of a blow to protect someone else, even if they didn't ask for said protection (or even if they don't actually need it!).

— GUILTY CONSCIENCE. Matt is a good catholic boy, which means he feels bad about things before he even does them. That said, there's probably good reasons for him to feel so bad about beating the snot out of people all the time. He feels terribly about it and yet he cannot manage to stop for long, despite what it takes out of his health and his livelihood. He also fears that he might be touched by the devil to enjoy fighting and inflicting pain, though that is not particularly true.

— ABANDONMENT ISSUES. Both his father and later his adoptive-father abandoned him, and Matt still carries wounds from these absences. Unfortunately he hasn't learned from those injuries, and in fact has a tendency to abandon others emotionally himself. He tries to pull back from those that get to close to him, thanks to the knowledge that his secret life is only bound to hurt the people he loves, so he removes himself from the equation whether they'd like him to or not. If Matt thinks someone would be safer not knowing him, he might attempt to make that happen.

Abilities/Powers/Weaknesses:
— ABILITIES & POWERS. Matt might have been blinded by the accident in his youth, but the radioactive waste did more than that. It also gave him incredibly enhanced senses, practically every one but sight. A combination of his attuned smell, touch, taste, and hearing allows him to "see" in an odd manner of speaking. It connects him to the world and gives him a pretty clear picture of what is happening in it, even if he can't physically see it. He also has extreme endurance, can take an unbelievable amount of hits and keep on kicking. On top of that he's very smart (top of his class, a lawyer), trained in multiple martial arts and knowledge with weapons, speaks multiple languages, is able to read braille, and god only knows what new ridiculous thing he'll be able to do in Daredevil S3.

— WEAKNESSES. Being so reliant on his other senses, dissruption on any of them tends to incapacitate him. Be it partially (if he has a stuffy nose) or completely (when he lost his hearing shortly in S2). His need to be a hero could probably be considered a weakness as well. Matt will continually throw himself into dangerous situations, again and again, without considering the consequences to his own health. Lastly, being this damn catholic is a weakness in and of itself. Catholic guilt is no joke.

Ability/Power/Magic Warping: I don't believe any of Matt's powers need in game listed warps. They are all pretty limited and pretty personal. Please let me know if I'm wrong on this one!

Inventory:
— Whatever he's wearing in his hospital bed with the nuns... so not much, prob just pants and a bunch of bandages, his dumb sunglasses, and a walking stick
— Billy Club

Writing Samples: Answer

OUT OF CHARACTER

Player Name: Kitty
Player Age: 25+
Player Contact: PM, or meowed

Other Characters In Game: Apping Carmilla Karnstein
In-Game Tag If Accepted: Matthew Murdock: Kitty
Permissions for Character: HERE
Are you comfortable with prominent elements of fourth-walling?: Yes! I don't love specific "Whoa how are you doing Charlie Cox as you were in the role of Matt Murdock circa the Defenders!!" 4th walling, but general stuff is fine.

What themes of horror/psychological thrillers do you enjoy the most?: Isolation, darkness, hard to detect threats, personified emotions (like the Babadook), repeating rooms (think House of Leaves or the Lost Woods). Ghosts!!
Is there anything in particular you absolutely need specific content warnings for?: Noncon, but otherwise not that I can think of
Additional Information: I know his powers are ... well, they're ridiculous. They can be OP and unfun to play against if not handled correctly. So, I have a section in my permissions asking what players would like Matt to be able to pick up and not diverge from that, and also the option to opt out entirely. I will also keep lines of communication between myself and others if he is going to use abilities on PCs and never use information without requesting input from players if they do agree to his ridiculous abilities. I will also ask for mod permission during events if I think his senses might help in a situation and I understand that it might be refused for the fairness of all players. I don't want to ruin the fun for anybody; most of the time, I use Matt's senses in the same way he does, so he can function despite the lack of his eyesight. Anything beyond that will be done with utmost care and consideration to my other players.